Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
