You work out of a Hotel?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
