He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
