i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
