worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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