everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize