So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
