your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
