I feel like I'm in dance class right now
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
