Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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