Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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