I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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