D3 body, D1 cock
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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