I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
