I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
