so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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