i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize