My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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