I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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