dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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