My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
did you just send me my own nude
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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