Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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