His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
