What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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