she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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