this beer tastes like vomit already
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
