3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i think i have two assholes
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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