alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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