Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
