..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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