You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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