If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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