I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
