That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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