it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
