I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
