haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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