he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
it hurts more in the daytime
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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