i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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