Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
