North Korea, Best Korea!
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
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