I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
