i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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