Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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