once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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