just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
