sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
So gin and wine won't be happening again
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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