I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So gin and wine won't be happening again
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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