is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
