I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize