using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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