Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
