I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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