i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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