There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Four minutes until I can fart!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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