At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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