I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
