some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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