i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
