Welp...herpes.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
