At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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